Hello there,

I am Martin, one of the organizers for the Bay Area Bisexual Network's SF Pride Contingent, and I wanted to invite you, your organizations and Bay Area LGBT Centers to spread the word that we are having a contingent in the SF Pride Parade for the entire bi/pan+ community. The Generations of Resistance to Bi+ Erasure - 2019 SF Pride March will be for all of us, whether you are bi, pan, queer, fluid, omni or another non-monosexual identity, let's bring visibility to our Bi/Pan+ groups through a large contingent representing the vast bi+ community.

Generations of Resistance to Bi+ Erasure
Sunday, June 30th, 2019
From around 10:00 till 1:pm
Site to meet TBA, Near Market and Beale St.,
San Francisco, CA

First, we strongly suggest that every person who marches with the bi/pan+ contingent watch the video for contingent monitors and then take the quiz associated with our contingent (BA9118). Participants will be asked to select a Contingent Training Code from a drop-down menu and to enter their contact information that will then be forwarded to our organizing team. We will be unable to march if we do not get at least eight (8) contingent monitors and will not step off with a vehicle unless there are at least four identified wheel monitors checked in with the lead organizer on site by 9:30 AM PST.

OUR GROUP'S CODE IS: BA9118    
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lXBfzG17QA

Secondly, we are asking that all groups representing community will follow our code of conduct which touches on consent, public behavior, smoking, discrimination/respecting differences, gender, sexuality, culture & race, confidentiality and getting help both in the lead upto and during the parade.

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Code of Conduct for the SF Pride Bi/Pan+ Contingent:
The organizers will try to deal fairly and respectfully with any issue brought to us. We may also make reasonable requests that are not specifically included here.

Please remember that everyone is at a different stage of awareness about various issues, and don’t assume people are being malicious.
If you are able, please consider kindly educating people when they make mistakes – this includes everyone, even the organizing team!
People are responsible for themselves, their actions, and their own health. Be aware of your physical health and well-being: hydrate often and make a mental note of any nearby restroom facilities and extra bring sunscreen if possible.

Consent
Consent is crucial to us all participating fully, it is important the no one in the SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent should be put under any pressure to join in with things they do not want to do. This includes but is not limited to:

• hugs or touching
• taking part in an activity
• disclosing information
• any sexual behavior
• discussing topics which are sensitive or personal
• or even having a chat.

Ask every time. Don’t assume that because someone said “yes” earlier that they will still say “yes” the next time.

It is fine to ask someone once if they would like to do something. For example, “Would you like a hug?” If they refuse, continuing to ask is pestering them and will be viewed as harassment and reported to SF Pride's security.

If someone asks you to leave them alone, do so. You can also ask the organizers to tell someone to leave you alone.
In public, “no”, “stop”, “don’t do that” or similar words and phrases will be taken at face value by the SF Pride organizers and volunteers, regardless of context.

Public Behavior
Our SF Pride contingent should be a place where people feel free to express their sexuality, but it is not a sex or fetish play party. We ask that overtly sexual behavior be kept out of the parade and rout down Market Street. Please keep public behavior within what is normally publicly acceptable at a Pride parade.

Our SF Pride contingent attendees should remained fully clothed in all public areas, except for when breastfeeding. All nipples, genitalia and bums must be securely covered by clothing.

Everyone on the parade rout deserves to feel safe and no one deserves to be shouted at, sworn at, or made to feel threatened.

Smoking
Please do not smoke either regular or e-cigarettes anywhere on either the rout or the staging area, as vapors from these devices can be triggering for people with asthma and related conditions.

Discrimination and Respecting Differences
Our SF Pride contingent should be a safe space for all attendees, regardless of ethnicity, class, gender, disability, religion, spiritual belief, age, or lifestyle. Bigoted behavior of any kind will not be tolerated and you may be ejected from our group at any time along the rout by the SF Pride security team including our contingent monitors.

Don’t make negative assumptions or stereotype people on the basis of their skin color, physical features, race, accent or religious belief. Do not make negative comments about people based on the characteristics outlined above.

No Racism, sexism, classism, sizeism, transphobia, TERF’s, body shaming, diet talk or concern trolling.

Gender
People who attend our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent may define their gender in a range of different ways, which we understand aren’t always easy to spot. If you are unsure of the pronoun someone uses, we encourage you to ask them, or avoid gendered language by using “they” instead of “he” or “she”.

Once you have been informed of someone’s gender pronouns, whether by asking them or being corrected, please try to use these pronouns correctly.

We accept people’s self-identified gender for all purposes.

Sexuality
People are welcome to attend our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent regardless of how they define their sexuality. Do not criticize someone based on what label (or lack of) they use to define their sexuality.

All identities in the queer community have equal value. Bi, pan, demi, questioning, ace, enby, gay, lesbian, etc., all belong equally.

Culture & Race
Negative comments about any aspect of a person’s culture or race should not be made.

Fetishization of cultural markers and physical features should be avoided. An example of fetishization of cultural markers could be, “that’s such an exotic name” or “your dreadlocks are amazing, can I touch them?”

Confidentiality
Please respect people’s privacy, and be aware that not everyone in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent may be ‘out’ about their sexuality or other aspects of their lifestyle, such as BDSM or non-monogamy.
Ask permission before identifying anyone publicly.

This includes in other conversations in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent or on social media relating to our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent (e.g. the Facebook event). ‘Public’ also includes write-ups on personal websites or on social networking sites such as Facebook.

If you find yourself talking to someone you met in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent after the event has ended, be careful if you need to remind them where you met – you don’t know who else might be listening! Perhaps just remind them that the event was in SF.

Do not take any photographs or recordings of people without their express permission. It is your responsibility to make sure everyone in shot is happy to be photographed.

Also be aware that other people, outside of our consent filled contingent, will be taking pictures and video from the sidelines and the larger parade will be filmed and live streamed. If this makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to attend any other event around pride week in lieu of the parade.

If you give permission for your photo to be taken, please assume it may end up online, linked to you by name, as people may not remember your preferences after our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent has disbanded.

Getting Help
If you want support in challenging anyone’s behavior or anything they’ve said, please come and talk to the organizers who can assist you or speak to the person for you. We will be wearing contingent monitor stickers and the lead organizer will be wearing a black/rainbow SF Giants hat.
The organizers very much want to know about things that make people in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent less likely to attend another bi+ event. If anything happens that makes you uncomfortable or unwelcome – even if you do not want us to do anything about it, or feel it is your fault – please let us know.

Breaches of the Code of Conduct
If anything happens to you in the run-up to, including the step off and in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent that you feel is a breach of our Code of Conduct, or you have witnessed inappropriate behavior, we want to know so we can improve your experience.
Additionally, we are always open to adding to the Code of Conduct, should you feel we have missed something.

You can talk to us:
• in person: you can identify us by our name tags (and contingent monitor identifiers)
• by text or phone: 415-845-1157 (main organizer)
• by email: [email protected]

Things we can do to help:
If something has happened that makes you uncomfortable we can talk to anyone else involved. We are happy to do so even if you haven’t communicated this to them, since that is not always easy to do. We will listen to what you think would help, if you have any ideas.
Examples of things we as a community can do:

• communicate to others that there is a problem
• ask for an apology
• ask them to leave you alone
• require them to not be where you are
• exclude them from the rest of our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent by contacting the SF Pride parade security team

These will be implemented at the discretion of our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent team.

If you mess up, acknowledge, apologize and learn from it. Practice saying, “Thank you for letting me know what I did and how it was inappropriate”. Strive to improve your behavior.

Breaches of this Code of Conduct or reasonable requests will, in most cases, be met with a warning from a member of the organizing team. If warnings are ignored, or in the event of serious misconduct, we reserve the right to ask anyone to leave all or part of our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent. We reserve the right to pass on details of complaints to future SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent organizers.

-This CoC was adapted (with adjustments) from, SFBICON & BiCon UK's Code of Conduct, with permission.

Hello BABN!  I’m Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a proud member of the bi+ community and a San Francisco psychologist. 

Every day, I see and face biphobia like this, and I’ll bet you do, too:

• Assumptions about your identity based on your partner’s gender (e.g. “You must be gay (or straight) because your partner’s gender is x”)
  
  
• People denying bisexuality even exists, especially for bi+ men
  
  
• Not being considered a “real” bisexual unless you’ve dated or had sex with people across the gender spectrum
• Queer groups only focusing their efforts on the needs of L & G folks
• Invisibility of bisexuals in everyday language and media representation

And while bisexuals have amazing levels of resilience--which you can read more about in The 5 Secret Strengths of Bisexuals--studies have shown that internalizing society’s biphobia, or having a partner who isn’t supportive of your bi+ identity, can take a toll on your mental health (Taylor et al., 2019).

We deal with some tough stuff as bisexuals, but the good news is that there are lots of proven, effective ways to cope with biphobia.

You can bolster your resilience and keep yourself on a positive path with your mental health. Here are just a few ideas to get you started. Remember, you don’t have to do them all at once, but maybe find one idea that’s a good fit for you.

1. Understand unhealthy thought patterns. Notice any common biphobic negative thought patterns you may have about yourself. Pay close attention, because they can sneak up on you when you’re not noticing.
   
   You might think, “I’m not bi enough because…,” “I’m not a real bisexual because…,” or “My partner seems uncomfortable with my bisexual attractions, maybe there is something wrong about being bisexual.”  
   
   Try to pause these thoughts from taking you over by saying, “This is just biphobia talking, I don’t have to believe these thoughts.”  Repeat over and over. You will probably have to do this many times for yourself until you get the hang of pausing these thoughts.

 

1. Change your self-talk. Once you’re more aware of your thought patterns, begin to use more positive self-talk to replace them. Try instead: “I can define bisexuality for myself,” “My identity is valid, not matter who I’ve dated or slept with,” and “I deserve a partner who supports my bisexuality.”

 

1. Make a gratitude list. Make a list of all the reasons you are grateful for being bisexual and the awesome strengths you have as a bisexual. Maybe even add the names of bisexual role models or fantastic bisexual people in your life. Look back at this list when you need to call upon your strength.

 

1. Build a bi-supportive community. Find bi-supportive friends and community you can lean on when things are hard. They can remind you that you are important, valid, and valued. They can share their similar experiences and remind you that you’re not alone. As a special bonus, the more bi-supportive friends you have, the more likely you are to find a bi-supportive partner.

 

1. Learn mindfulness skills. Learning these skills are great for anyone and everyone, but they are especially powerful for bisexual folks to help cultivate an internal sense of strength and well-being. To help you feel ready to go back out in the world after a particularly tough day, start small by practicing mindfulness just 3 minutes a day with a free app like Calm or Headspace. Increase the time as you feel ready.

 

1. Work on bi+ advocacy efforts. Helping to create systemic change can be empowering and help you feel in control. Think about small everyday ways you can advocate for the community. Think about big systemic changes and how you can help organize bite-size steps to make them happen. An important caveat here: when embarking on advocacy make sure to balance self-care with activism. While advocacy can be super-empowering, it can also lead to burnout if we don’t keep things in balance.
   
   

Pick just one of these simple tools to commit to doing regularly for yourself and see what a powerful impact it can have on your mental health. I see it be effective over and over again for my clients.

What are your go-to coping tools? How do you bolster your resilience? I’d love to hear people talking about this at our next BABN get-together!

Written by: Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist www.drlindseytherapy.com 

References:
Taylor, J, Power, J, Smith, E & Rathbone, M. (2019). Bisexual mental health: Findings from the ‘Who I Am’ study. Australian Journal of General Practice, 48 (3).

Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist - PSY24418
Pronouns: she/her/hers

Website: drlindseytherapy.com
Client Portal: https://drlindseytherapy.clientsecure.me
Progressive Therapy In San Francisco
415-737-5540 (phone)