Generations of Resistance to Bi+ Erasure - Code of Conduct for the SF Pride Bi/Pan+ Contingent5/12/2019 Hello there,
I am Martin, one of the organizers for the Bay Area Bisexual Network's SF Pride Contingent, and I wanted to invite you, your organizations and Bay Area LGBT Centers to spread the word that we are having a contingent in the SF Pride Parade for the entire bi/pan+ community. The Generations of Resistance to Bi+ Erasure - 2019 SF Pride March will be for all of us, whether you are bi, pan, queer, fluid, omni or another non-monosexual identity, let's bring visibility to our Bi/Pan+ groups through a large contingent representing the vast bi+ community. Generations of Resistance to Bi+ Erasure Sunday, June 30th, 2019 From around 10:00 till 1:pm Site to meet TBA, Near Market and Beale St., San Francisco, CA First, we strongly suggest that every person who marches with the bi/pan+ contingent watch the video for contingent monitors and then take the quiz associated with our contingent (BA9118). Participants will be asked to select a Contingent Training Code from a drop-down menu and to enter their contact information that will then be forwarded to our organizing team. We will be unable to march if we do not get at least eight (8) contingent monitors and will not step off with a vehicle unless there are at least four identified wheel monitors checked in with the lead organizer on site by 9:30 AM PST. OUR GROUP'S CODE IS: BA9118 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lXBfzG17QA Secondly, we are asking that all groups representing community will follow our code of conduct which touches on consent, public behavior, smoking, discrimination/respecting differences, gender, sexuality, culture & race, confidentiality and getting help both in the lead upto and during the parade. ### Code of Conduct for the SF Pride Bi/Pan+ Contingent: The organizers will try to deal fairly and respectfully with any issue brought to us. We may also make reasonable requests that are not specifically included here. Please remember that everyone is at a different stage of awareness about various issues, and don’t assume people are being malicious. If you are able, please consider kindly educating people when they make mistakes – this includes everyone, even the organizing team! People are responsible for themselves, their actions, and their own health. Be aware of your physical health and well-being: hydrate often and make a mental note of any nearby restroom facilities and extra bring sunscreen if possible. Consent Consent is crucial to us all participating fully, it is important the no one in the SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent should be put under any pressure to join in with things they do not want to do. This includes but is not limited to: • hugs or touching • taking part in an activity • disclosing information • any sexual behavior • discussing topics which are sensitive or personal • or even having a chat. Ask every time. Don’t assume that because someone said “yes” earlier that they will still say “yes” the next time. It is fine to ask someone once if they would like to do something. For example, “Would you like a hug?” If they refuse, continuing to ask is pestering them and will be viewed as harassment and reported to SF Pride's security. If someone asks you to leave them alone, do so. You can also ask the organizers to tell someone to leave you alone. In public, “no”, “stop”, “don’t do that” or similar words and phrases will be taken at face value by the SF Pride organizers and volunteers, regardless of context. Public Behavior Our SF Pride contingent should be a place where people feel free to express their sexuality, but it is not a sex or fetish play party. We ask that overtly sexual behavior be kept out of the parade and rout down Market Street. Please keep public behavior within what is normally publicly acceptable at a Pride parade. Our SF Pride contingent attendees should remained fully clothed in all public areas, except for when breastfeeding. All nipples, genitalia and bums must be securely covered by clothing. Everyone on the parade rout deserves to feel safe and no one deserves to be shouted at, sworn at, or made to feel threatened. Smoking Please do not smoke either regular or e-cigarettes anywhere on either the rout or the staging area, as vapors from these devices can be triggering for people with asthma and related conditions. Discrimination and Respecting Differences Our SF Pride contingent should be a safe space for all attendees, regardless of ethnicity, class, gender, disability, religion, spiritual belief, age, or lifestyle. Bigoted behavior of any kind will not be tolerated and you may be ejected from our group at any time along the rout by the SF Pride security team including our contingent monitors. Don’t make negative assumptions or stereotype people on the basis of their skin color, physical features, race, accent or religious belief. Do not make negative comments about people based on the characteristics outlined above. No Racism, sexism, classism, sizeism, transphobia, TERF’s, body shaming, diet talk or concern trolling. Gender People who attend our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent may define their gender in a range of different ways, which we understand aren’t always easy to spot. If you are unsure of the pronoun someone uses, we encourage you to ask them, or avoid gendered language by using “they” instead of “he” or “she”. Once you have been informed of someone’s gender pronouns, whether by asking them or being corrected, please try to use these pronouns correctly. We accept people’s self-identified gender for all purposes. Sexuality People are welcome to attend our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent regardless of how they define their sexuality. Do not criticize someone based on what label (or lack of) they use to define their sexuality. All identities in the queer community have equal value. Bi, pan, demi, questioning, ace, enby, gay, lesbian, etc., all belong equally. Culture & Race Negative comments about any aspect of a person’s culture or race should not be made. Fetishization of cultural markers and physical features should be avoided. An example of fetishization of cultural markers could be, “that’s such an exotic name” or “your dreadlocks are amazing, can I touch them?” Confidentiality Please respect people’s privacy, and be aware that not everyone in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent may be ‘out’ about their sexuality or other aspects of their lifestyle, such as BDSM or non-monogamy. Ask permission before identifying anyone publicly. This includes in other conversations in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent or on social media relating to our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent (e.g. the Facebook event). ‘Public’ also includes write-ups on personal websites or on social networking sites such as Facebook. If you find yourself talking to someone you met in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent after the event has ended, be careful if you need to remind them where you met – you don’t know who else might be listening! Perhaps just remind them that the event was in SF. Do not take any photographs or recordings of people without their express permission. It is your responsibility to make sure everyone in shot is happy to be photographed. Also be aware that other people, outside of our consent filled contingent, will be taking pictures and video from the sidelines and the larger parade will be filmed and live streamed. If this makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to attend any other event around pride week in lieu of the parade. If you give permission for your photo to be taken, please assume it may end up online, linked to you by name, as people may not remember your preferences after our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent has disbanded. Getting Help If you want support in challenging anyone’s behavior or anything they’ve said, please come and talk to the organizers who can assist you or speak to the person for you. We will be wearing contingent monitor stickers and the lead organizer will be wearing a black/rainbow SF Giants hat. The organizers very much want to know about things that make people in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent less likely to attend another bi+ event. If anything happens that makes you uncomfortable or unwelcome – even if you do not want us to do anything about it, or feel it is your fault – please let us know. Breaches of the Code of Conduct If anything happens to you in the run-up to, including the step off and in our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent that you feel is a breach of our Code of Conduct, or you have witnessed inappropriate behavior, we want to know so we can improve your experience. Additionally, we are always open to adding to the Code of Conduct, should you feel we have missed something. You can talk to us: • in person: you can identify us by our name tags (and contingent monitor identifiers) • by text or phone: 415-845-1157 (main organizer) • by email: martin@sfbabn.org Things we can do to help: If something has happened that makes you uncomfortable we can talk to anyone else involved. We are happy to do so even if you haven’t communicated this to them, since that is not always easy to do. We will listen to what you think would help, if you have any ideas. Examples of things we as a community can do: • communicate to others that there is a problem • ask for an apology • ask them to leave you alone • require them to not be where you are • exclude them from the rest of our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent by contacting the SF Pride parade security team These will be implemented at the discretion of our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent team. If you mess up, acknowledge, apologize and learn from it. Practice saying, “Thank you for letting me know what I did and how it was inappropriate”. Strive to improve your behavior. Breaches of this Code of Conduct or reasonable requests will, in most cases, be met with a warning from a member of the organizing team. If warnings are ignored, or in the event of serious misconduct, we reserve the right to ask anyone to leave all or part of our SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent. We reserve the right to pass on details of complaints to future SF Pride Bi/Pan+ contingent organizers. -This CoC was adapted (with adjustments) from, SFBICON & BiCon UK's Code of Conduct, with permission.
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Hello BABN! I’m Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a proud member of the bi+ community and a San Francisco psychologist.
Every day, I see and face biphobia like this, and I’ll bet you do, too:
And while bisexuals have amazing levels of resilience--which you can read more about in The 5 Secret Strengths of Bisexuals--studies have shown that internalizing society’s biphobia, or having a partner who isn’t supportive of your bi+ identity, can take a toll on your mental health (Taylor et al., 2019). We deal with some tough stuff as bisexuals, but the good news is that there are lots of proven, effective ways to cope with biphobia. You can bolster your resilience and keep yourself on a positive path with your mental health. Here are just a few ideas to get you started. Remember, you don’t have to do them all at once, but maybe find one idea that’s a good fit for you.
What are your go-to coping tools? How do you bolster your resilience? I’d love to hear people talking about this at our next BABN get-together! Written by: Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist www.drlindseytherapy.com References: Taylor, J, Power, J, Smith, E & Rathbone, M. (2019). Bisexual mental health: Findings from the ‘Who I Am’ study. Australian Journal of General Practice, 48 (3). Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist - PSY24418 Pronouns: she/her/hers Website: drlindseytherapy.com Client Portal: https://drlindseytherapy.clientsecure.me Progressive Therapy In San Francisco 415-737-5540 (phone) The 5 Secret Strengths of BisexualsWritten by: Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
There is strength and power in the bisexual+ community. If you’ve read many articles or research on bisexuality and mental health, you’ve heard all about the “stresses” and “risk factors” for bi+ folks. But if you’re reading this article, it means that you’re connected with BABN, and you probably know from your own experience the strength and power of the bi+ community. I know that strength and power, too. I’m Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a San Francisco psychologist and proud member of the bi+ community. In this and upcoming guest blogs for BABN, I’m excited to share the positive psychological aspects and strengths of our community for a change. And yes, I promise, there are many. For example, coming out as bisexual is shown by recent research to be associated with improved relationships, a feeling of living more authentically, and improved mental health (Brownfield et al., 2018). I see this reflected in my own work with bi+ clients: The stronger you feel within your own identity, the more you can genuinely connect with others. This connection has powerful benefits for a sense of happiness and belonging. (It’s also important to note that not everyone has the privilege and safety to come out, and not sharing your identity may also be an equally important choice for your mental health.) In my work with the bi+ community over the past decade, I have witnessed many strengths of the bi+ experience. Here are some of my favorite strengths of being bisexual, based on my experience with bi+ clients and supported by recent research (Scales et al., 2010).
What are your strengths as a bisexual person? I’d love to hear people talking about this at your next BABN get-together! Written by: Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist www.drlindseytherapy.com References: Brownfield, Jenna M., Brown, Chris, Jeevanba, Sathya Baanu, VanMattson, Sarah B. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, Vol 5(2), Jun 2018, 220-232 Gates, G. J. (2011). How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender? Retrieved from https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Gates-How-Many-People-LGBT-Apr-2011.pdf Scales Rostosky, S., Riggle, E. D., Pascale-Hague, D., & McCants, L. E. (2010). The positive aspects of a bisexual self-identification. Psychology and Sexuality, 1, 131–144. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2010.484595 Join BABN and the Center for Sex and Culture for a frightful night of costumes and fun to benefit the bisexual community.
Ware your best bi+ costume and mingle with the giants of bisexuality in the largest sexuality library in the Bay Area. There will be historical prizes (t-shirts and pins) for the best costumes! BAY AREA BISEXUAL NETWORK & THE CENTER FOR SEX AND CULTUREBay Area Bisexual Network's mission is to develop a healthy, vibrant, multicultural bisexual community in the San Francisco Bay Area and to promote a better understanding of bisexual lives and issues within the larger lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) community and the public. The Center for Sex & Culture, located in San Francisco at 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th, strives to promote creativity, information, and healthy sexual knowledge. Facebook Invite: https://www.facebook.com/events/2182418742081017 EventBright: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/spooktacular-bisexual-soiree-tickets-50885041529 DATE AND TIMEThu, October 25, 2018 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM PDT Add to Calendar LOCATIONCenter for Sex and Culture 1349 Mission Street San Francisco, CA 94103 View Map The 48th Annual SF LGBT Pride Parade and the week leading up to the big event was really a time to draw on the strength of our generations of bi+ pride. We have an SF Pride T-Shirt in a few more sizes and we will be putting up a page where you can donate $25 for one to be shipped to you in the coming month.
The Bi-BQ was a blast and you can see more photos of the Bi-BQ 2018-Bi New World which are uploaded to Our Town SF and also available on their Our Town Flickr page. The SF Pride Parade had folks come from all over the Bay Area, our sister group, Bisexuals and Friends, at the Billy DeFrank Center in San Jose, the East Bay and even from as far as Sacramento. Thank you for making SF Pride spectacular and rolling with the sound equipment (quite literally for Rabbi Jeremy, who rolled the speaker cart!). A huge thank you to the various players who helped to make the event happen this year: Anne Killpack, Kai MacTane, Kirsten Berry, Jen Davidson, Martin Rawlings-Fein, Amy Larson, Jeremy Sher & Nick Leonard without whom this event would not have happened!!! Form partnerships with other bi+ groups
Summary of BABN Meeting
In Attendance Martin Rawlings-Fein, Anne Killpack MacTane, Amy Khittae, Joel Khittae, Kirsten Berry, Moria Merriweather, Kai MacTane. BABN’s Current Status Current Co-Directors: Martin Rawlings-Fein, plus Kin Folkz and Allegra Hirschman. Only Martin is active. BABN is no longer doing brunches or helping boost signal for Bi Boys’ Happy Hour. All it does anymore is the yearly Pride contingent. Martin is running it on his own, as best he can. We need a Board, 501(c)(3) status, fundraisers, and bylaws.
Emergency Committee Formed An Emergency Committee has been formed to look after BABN’s current and near-future health and survival. Members: Amy, Kai, Anne, Kirsten, and Martin. Org Goals and Targets:
Roles Filled at the Meeting
Future Plans The Emergency Committee will continue to coordinate via email. They will meet again in late August (in 4-6 weeks) to re-evaluate and adjust course as necessary. We are also re-starting the Generosity Campaign from earlier this year, to attempt to add funds to our coffers. -- Bay Area Bisexual Network e: director@bayareabisexualnetwork.org w: www.bayareabisexualnetwork.org 30 Years of BABN at San Francisco Pride Sunday June 25th, 2017
The Bay Area Bisexual Network is celebrating 30 years as an active partner in the fight for queer equality. Founded in 1987, our mission is to develop a healthy, vibrant, multicultural bisexual community in the San Francisco Bay Area. We have a growing social media presence and have hosted events like the Bi-Trans Brunch and other Bi+ (Bi Plus) meetups. At Pride we will be showing our colors as we march down Market - pink, purple and blue, the colors of the Bi Pride Flag, representing the fluidity of our sexuality. It's Not Just A Phase! Sunday June 25th, 2017 10:00am Contingent Placement: 111 Block: L1 Assembly Area: Spear between Howard and Folsom Assembly Start Times: Marchers arrive by: 10:15 AM Estimated Step-off: 11:00 AM ![]()
by Martin Rawlings-Fein
When We Rise was difficult television for me to watch. I kept waiting for the next leader introduced to be Lani Ka'ahumanu who assisted in the founding of the San Francisco State Women Studies Department, she is also credited with the founding of BiPOL the first and oldest bisexual political organization. I kept watching hoping that perhaps Dr. Harriet Leve and Dr. Maggi Rubenstein might show up as the co-founder's of the San Francisco Bisexual Center on Hayes and Masonic, they could have been included as Maggi was also a co-founder of three major sex-education institutions in San Francisco: Glide Memorial Church's National Sex Forum, the San Francisco Sex Information Hotline, and the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Or Dr. David Lourea and Cynthia Slater who presented safer-sex education in bathhouses and BDSM clubs in San Francisco as well as David going on to push the DPH to recognize bisexual men in their official AIDS statistics which was a huge victory for data scientists everywhere. When that didn't happen and those leaders did not rate even a mention, I hoped that A. Billy S. Jones could have been thrown in as one of those organizers of the March On Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights and was sorely disappointed. In the end of the miniseries none of that happened, I was only watching Gay, Lesbian and Transgender stories depicted. While Cleve Jones, the author of the memoir that was the basis of the miniseries stated about the criticisms, "Honestly, if just a fraction of the energy spent complaining went into WRITING, all these stories could be known. The people who feel left out should take responsibility to do that hard work." That is when I realized that while When We Rise did not tell our stories, the truth is that we have been telling our stories separately for years and being told to "shut up" because nobody in the gay community wants to hear them. Our stories are not convenient, they do not fit into the boxes in which others try to place them. The idea of two women in a relationship that is not a lesbian one was too hard for marriage equality to handle, so Lindasusan Ulrich and Emily Drennen were not used in the case against Prop 8 despite their 3 marriages to each other. During the national spotlight on “gay marriage” the couple were outspoken and protested the use of “gay marriage” in discourse. They even went so far as to create a document "Words Matter" and went to a Town Hall event for the Equality for All campaign (the coalition fighting Prop 8 in California) to present an action called "unVEILing injustice" to highlight our struggle against erasure. Just one story that could have illustrated the fight for equality even within our own queer community. Despite Dustin Lance Black's assurances that there was bi+ representation in the miniseries, there were none that I was aware of either in reading his response or other tweets that he pointed me to on Twitter:
As I read the words I felt his exasperation as a filmmaker. He hadn't done the minimal legwork on Bi+ issues, like our representation in the media (a simple Tumblr search could have helped), I actually felt sorry for him as an artist and historian. If he had done the research he would have known that bi people already see ourselves as part of the struggle, we don't need to be told so on camera without mentioning bisexuality. We are not beards simply staying with our gay, or straight appearing, husbands to keep our housing. We are not objects of desire to be used as props to help the story line along. We are not allies of the LGBTIQA community, but full fledged members of the community.
Using those items especially as touch points to illustrate stories about us is demeaning and frankly ignorant. To use a slogan of the Bi+ movement, "Nothing About Us Without Us!" Next time, actually talk to a person of lived Bi+ experience to find out if something might be considered offensive. Like perhaps having 8 hours of LG( )T stories without mentioning the "B" word once. I feel that this kind of miniseries is so important, in the words of Lani Ka'ahumanu, "Yes this LGBT mini-series “WHEN WE RISE” is a big deal AND there is no bisexual representation. The B is missing from this epic LGBT docu-drama. When LGBT people rose in San Francisco [and everywhere else], we rose together. Bisexuals worked shoulder to shoulder with Cleve Jones, Ken Jones, Roma Guy and Cecilia Chung whose lives are featured. This is not to take away from their incredible contributions; this is to point out what might not be noticed in the excitement of watching “When We Rise”. Indeed, this is not a zero-sum game, we can honor those depicted in When We Rise, and mourn the poor Bi+ representation My hope is that we as a community can rise above the bi erasure to bring our stories out and really be a force for change in the larger queer community. To use a slogan from the fight against the Briggs Initiative, "Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!" If you see poor representation in film and media, send your thoughts to GLADD and report an incident. Something that I suggested to those reading Cleve's Facebook thread was The GLBT Historical Society's oral history program for those elders who would love to have their stories heard. Also if you don't have those stories yet, become an oral historian through their program and find those stories of our Bi+ elders and leaders to document our rising with the LGBTIQA community. Let's not let a wide brush of a historical miniseries deter us from telling our stories, let's bring them out into the sunshine and let the world know that we were there and we are here as vital members of the LGBTIQA community not allies like Black painted Lady Gaga during the series, a prime place to say the word bisexual when pitching her as a speaker at the National Equality March yet nobody said the word once during the entire show. I assume the big bisexual representation that we were all promised was her file footage speech to the National Equality March that almost never happened because according to Cynthia Connors from NYABN* ( "the March Committee which was steadfastly refusing to allow Bisexuals to "officially" participate finally gave in" and that BiNet had Penelope Williams, a Dominican American bisexual and immigration right activist introduce Gaga on stage for her now famous "ARE YOU LISTENING!!" speech. The week has passed, we are now in a post When We Rise world, where ratings are key in seeing anything like this spring up again. This is the time to bring our stories out and write them all down. If you have any remembrances that you would like to write for the Bay Area Bisexual Network blog, please do not hesitate to let me know through either director@bayareabisexualnetwork.org , Facebook or Twitter, or post your own remembrances of Bi+ history through the hashtag #BiHistory on twitter and add a mention of@BABN. --------- Martin Rawlings-Fein is a bisexual trans man, a devoted husband and father and volunteers as a co-director of the Bay Area Bisexual Network. *Update: "according to Cynthia Connors from BiNet USA" is incorrect as Cynthia is the technical admin from NYABN (the New York Area Bisexual Network) not BiNet USA. Giving Credit where credit is due. Official San Francisco Pride
Participation Info Bay Area Bisexual Network Reservation Type Parade Contingent Placement 132 (Assembly Section M1 Market @ Main) |
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Our mission is to foster a sense of bisexual/Pan+ community and promote better understanding of bisexual+ lives and issues within the larger lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) community and the public. Our Informational Blog Recently Made Number 38 on the Top 50 Bisexual Blogs!
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