Written by: Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist 

There is strength and power in the bisexual+ community.

If you’ve read many articles or research on bisexuality and mental health, you’ve heard all about the “stresses” and “risk factors” for bi+ folks. But if you’re reading this article, it means that you’re connected with BABN, and you probably know from your own experience the strength and power of the bi+ community.

I know that strength and power, too. I’m Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a San Francisco psychologist and proud member of the bi+ community. In this and upcoming guest blogs for BABN, I’m excited to share the positive psychological aspects and strengths of our community for a change.

And yes, I promise, there are many.

For example, coming out as bisexual is shown by recent research to be associated with improved relationships, a feeling of living more authentically, and improved mental health (Brownfield et al., 2018).

I see this reflected in my own work with bi+ clients: The stronger you feel within your own identity, the more you can genuinely connect with others. This connection has powerful benefits for a sense of happiness and belonging. (It’s also important to note that not everyone has the privilege and safety to come out, and not sharing your identity may also be an equally important choice for your mental health.)

In my work with the bi+ community over the past decade, I have witnessed many strengths of the bi+ experience. Here are some of my favorite strengths of being bisexual, based on my experience with bi+ clients and supported by recent research (Scales et al., 2010).

1. Self-awareness. Recent research suggests that bisexuals make up more than half of the LGB community (Gates, 2011), but have less visibility than their LG counterparts in our culture and society. In the journey of becoming self-aware, it may take time and introspection to first understand that bisexuality even exists, much less understand your own bisexuality. Making sense of your attractions across the gender spectrum can take time. During this reflection time, you can gain more clarity not only on your sexuality, but on who you are as a person. What a wonderful bonus gift of a bisexual identity!

 

1. Strong sense of self. Being bisexual in a binary world often means dealing with people who invalidate, erase, or simply refuse to believe your identity. This can be very painful! And, it also gives you practice at reaffirming for yourself, over and over, that you know who you are. You learn to provide yourself that unconditional love and acceptance. Over time, this can build a powerful inner strength and sense of self-love.

 

1. Infinite capacity for empathy. The bi+ experience creates a great amount of space to empathize with a wide range of life experiences, including multiple marginalized groups from cultural, sexual, and gender diverse communities. Perhaps it’s the experience of relationships with people across the gender spectrum, or the experience of feeling “in between,” that allows for this empathy to grow. I find this deep empathy benefits bisexual folks both personally and professionally in so many ways.

 

1. Positioned to be an ally and advocate. As a bi+ person, you are more likely to move in and out of different community spaces. Perhaps you have queer, straight, and bi+ communities you move within. This gives you opportunity to be a bridge between these communities. You can speak up and advocate when you hear biphobia in the straight or gay community. You can speak up and advocate when you hear homophobia, transphobia, racism, or sexism in any community. As a trusted part of more than one community, your voice can carry weight and influence that others may not have access to.

 

1. Write your own script. There is no societal script for what it means to be bisexual. This gives you space to write your own script, and to create relationships and make life choices that work for you. This makes room to break gender expectations, explore what relationship boundaries work for you and your partner(s), and live by your values. You get to define your own life in a way that fosters creativity and joy!

What are your strengths as a bisexual person? I’d love to hear people talking about this at your next BABN get-together!

Written by: Lindsey Brooks, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist www.drlindseytherapy.com  



References:

Brownfield, Jenna M., Brown, Chris, Jeevanba, Sathya Baanu, VanMattson, Sarah B. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, Vol 5(2), Jun 2018, 220-232

Gates, G. J. (2011). How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender? Retrieved from https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Gates-How-Many-People-LGBT-Apr-2011.pdf

Scales Rostosky, S., Riggle, E. D., Pascale-Hague, D., & McCants, L. E. (2010). The positive aspects of a bisexual self-identification. Psychology and Sexuality, 1, 131–144. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2010.484595

Join BABN and the Center for Sex and Culture for a frightful night of costumes and fun to benefit the bisexual community.

Ware your best bi+ costume and mingle with the giants of bisexuality in the largest sexuality library in the Bay Area. There will be historical prizes (t-shirts and pins) for the best costumes! 

BAY AREA BISEXUAL NETWORK & THE CENTER FOR SEX AND CULTUREBay Area Bisexual Network's mission is to develop a healthy, vibrant, multicultural bisexual community in the San Francisco Bay Area and to promote a better understanding of bisexual lives and issues within the larger lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) community and the public.
The Center for Sex & Culture, located in San Francisco at 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th, strives to promote creativity, information, and healthy sexual knowledge.

Facebook Invite: 
https://www.facebook.com/events/2182418742081017
EventBright: 
​https://www.eventbrite.com/e/spooktacular-bisexual-soiree-tickets-50885041529

DATE AND TIMEThu, October 25, 2018
7:00 PM – 10:00 PM PDT
Add to Calendar
LOCATIONCenter for Sex and Culture
1349 Mission Street
San Francisco, CA 94103
View Map

 The 48th Annual SF LGBT Pride Parade and the week leading up to the big event was really a time to draw on the strength of our generations of bi+ pride. We have an SF Pride T-Shirt in a few more sizes and we will be putting up a page where you can donate $25 for one to be shipped to you in the coming month. 

The Bi-BQ was a blast and you can see more photos of the Bi-BQ 2018-Bi New World which are uploaded to Our Town SF and also available on their Our Town Flickr page.

The SF Pride Parade had folks come from all over the Bay Area, our sister group, Bisexuals and Friends, at the Billy DeFrank Center in San Jose, the East Bay and even from as far as Sacramento. Thank you for making SF Pride spectacular and rolling with the sound equipment (quite literally for Rabbi Jeremy, who rolled the speaker cart!).

A huge thank you to the various players who helped to make the event happen this year: Anne Killpack, Kai MacTane, Kirsten Berry, Jen Davidson, Martin Rawlings-Fein, Amy Larson, Jeremy Sher & Nick Leonard without whom this event would not have happened!!!

Summary of BABN Meeting
In Attendance
Martin Rawlings-Fein, Anne Killpack MacTane, Amy Khittae, Joel Khittae, Kirsten Berry, Moria Merriweather, Kai MacTane.

BABN’s Current Status
Current Co-Directors: Martin Rawlings-Fein, plus Kin Folkz and Allegra Hirschman. Only Martin is active.

BABN is no longer doing brunches or helping boost signal for Bi Boys’ Happy Hour. All it does anymore is the yearly Pride contingent. Martin is running it on his own, as best he can.
We need a Board, 501(c)(3) status, fundraisers, and bylaws.

• Board: We had one back around 2003, but everyone got burned out. We have one current board application.
• Non-Profit Status: We no longer have non-profit status through the BRC; they dropped us due to a recent change in the laws. We need to fill out a form and apply, which will cost $275-400.
• Bylaws: We have a set we copied from FTM International, but we’d like to write our own.

Emergency Committee Formed
An Emergency Committee has been formed to look after BABN’s current and near-future health and survival. Members: Amy, Kai, Anne, Kirsten, and Martin.

Org Goals and Targets:

1. Continue BABN’s existence and life, and maintain or improve its health
2. Continue Pride at our current level (or greater)
3. Get a Board together within one year
4. Recruit and train staff to handle ongoing operations.
5. Have some other events, besides just Pride.
6. Increase social media presence and outreach
7. Fix the website
8. Form partnerships with other bi+ groups

Roles Filled at the Meeting

• Amy volunteered to be Events Coordinator. She has lots of ideas for events and venues.
• Anne can do social media stuff. Title still TBD, possibly Social Media Director or Officer.
• Moria has already been complaining to organizations that leave out the B. Now she gets to do so on behalf of BABN, as the Complaints Officer or some similar title TBD.

Future Plans
The Emergency Committee will continue to coordinate via email. They will meet again in late August (in 4-6 weeks) to re-evaluate and adjust course as necessary.

We are also re-starting the Generosity Campaign from earlier this year, to attempt to add funds to our coffers.
--
Bay Area Bisexual Network
e: director@bayareabisexualnetwork.org
w: www.bayareabisexualnetwork.org

by Martin Rawlings-Fein

When We Rise was difficult television for me to watch. I kept waiting for the next leader introduced to be Lani Ka'ahumanu who assisted in the founding of the San Francisco State Women Studies Department, she is also credited with the founding of BiPOL the first and oldest bisexual political organization. I kept watching hoping that perhaps Dr. Harriet Leve and Dr. Maggi Rubenstein might show up as the co-founder's of the San Francisco Bisexual Center on Hayes and Masonic, they could have been included as Maggi was also a co-founder of three major sex-education institutions in San Francisco: Glide Memorial Church's National Sex Forum, the San Francisco Sex Information Hotline, and the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

Or Dr. David Lourea and Cynthia Slater who presented safer-sex education in bathhouses and BDSM clubs in San Francisco as well as David going on to push the DPH to recognize bisexual men in their official AIDS statistics which was a huge victory for data scientists everywhere. When that didn't happen and those leaders did not rate even a mention, I hoped that A. Billy S. Jones could have been thrown in as one of those organizers of the March On Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights and was sorely disappointed.

In the end of the miniseries none of that happened, I was only watching  Gay, Lesbian and Transgender stories depicted. While Cleve Jones, the author of the memoir that was the basis of the miniseries stated about the criticisms, "Honestly, if just a fraction of the energy spent complaining went into WRITING, all these stories could be known. The people who feel left out should take responsibility to do that hard work." That is when I realized that while When We Rise did not tell our stories, the truth is that we have been telling our stories separately for years and being told to "shut up" because nobody in the gay community wants to hear them.

Our stories are not convenient, they do not fit into the boxes in which others try to place them. The idea of two women in a relationship that is not a lesbian one was too hard for marriage equality to handle, so Lindasusan Ulrich and Emily Drennen were not used in the case against Prop 8 despite their 3 marriages to each other. During the national spotlight on “gay marriage” the couple were outspoken and protested the use of “gay marriage” in discourse. They even went so far as to create a document "Words Matter" and went to a Town Hall event for the Equality for All campaign (the coalition fighting Prop 8 in California) to present an action called "unVEILing injustice" to  highlight our struggle against erasure. Just one story that could have illustrated the fight for equality even within our own queer community.

Despite Dustin Lance Black's assurances that there was bi+ representation in the miniseries, there were none that I was aware of either in reading his response or other tweets that he pointed me to on Twitter:

As I read the words I felt his exasperation as a filmmaker. He hadn't done the minimal legwork on Bi+ issues, like our representation in the media (a simple Tumblr search could have helped), I actually felt sorry for him as an artist and historian. If he had done the research he would have known that bi people already see ourselves as part of the struggle, we don't need to be told so on camera without mentioning bisexuality. We are not beards simply staying with our gay, or straight appearing, husbands to keep our housing. We are not objects of desire to be used as props to help the story line along. We are not allies of the LGBTIQA community, but full fledged members of the community. 

Using those items especially as touch points to illustrate stories about us is demeaning and frankly ignorant. To use a slogan of the Bi+ movement, "Nothing About Us Without Us!" Next time, actually talk to a person of lived Bi+ experience to find out if something might be considered offensive. Like perhaps having 8 hours of LG( )T stories without mentioning the "B" word once.

I feel that this kind of miniseries is so important, in the words of Lani Ka'ahumanu, "Yes this LGBT mini-series “WHEN WE RISE” is a big deal AND there is no bisexual representation. The B is missing from this epic LGBT docu-drama. When LGBT people rose in San Francisco [and everywhere else], we rose together. Bisexuals worked shoulder to shoulder with Cleve Jones, Ken Jones, Roma Guy and Cecilia Chung whose lives are featured. This is not to take away from their incredible contributions; this is to point out what might not be noticed in the excitement of watching “When We Rise”. Indeed, this is not a zero-sum game, we can honor those depicted in When We Rise, and mourn the poor Bi+ representation

My hope is that we as a community can rise above the bi erasure to bring our stories out and really be a force for change in the larger queer community. To use a slogan from the fight against the Briggs Initiative, "Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!" If you see poor representation in film and media, send your thoughts to GLADD and report an incident. Something that I suggested to those reading Cleve's Facebook thread was The GLBT Historical Society's oral history program  for those elders who would love to have their stories heard. Also if you don't have those stories yet, become an oral historian through their program and find those stories of our Bi+ elders and leaders to document our rising with the LGBTIQA community.

Let's not let a wide brush of a historical miniseries deter us from telling our stories, let's bring them out into the sunshine and let the world know that we were there and we are here as vital members of the LGBTIQA community not allies like Black painted Lady Gaga during the series, a prime place to say the word bisexual when pitching her as a speaker at the National Equality March yet nobody said the word once during the entire show.

I assume the big bisexual representation that we were all promised was her file footage speech to the National Equality March that almost never happened because according to Cynthia Connors from NYABN* ( "the March Committee which was steadfastly refusing to allow Bisexuals to "officially" participate finally gave in" and that BiNet had Penelope Williams, a Dominican American bisexual and immigration right activist introduce Gaga on stage for her now famous "ARE YOU LISTENING!!" speech.

The week has passed, we are now in a post When We Rise world, where ratings are key in seeing anything like this spring up again. This is the time to bring our stories out and write them all down.  If you have any remembrances that you would like to write for the Bay Area Bisexual Network blog, please do not hesitate to let me know through either director@bayareabisexualnetwork.org , Facebook or Twitter, or post your own remembrances of Bi+ history through the hashtag #BiHistory on twitter and add a mention of@BABN.

---------
Martin Rawlings-Fein is a bisexual trans man, a devoted husband and father and volunteers as a co-director of the Bay Area Bisexual Network.

*Update: "according to Cynthia Connors from BiNet USA" is incorrect as Cynthia is the technical admin from NYABN (the New York Area Bisexual Network) not BiNet USA. Giving Credit where credit is due. 

Official San Francisco Pride
Participation Info
Bay Area Bisexual Network
Reservation Type Parade Contingent
Placement 132 (Assembly Section M1 Market @ Main)

All right, folks, there's gonna be a Pride parade contingent. My partner and I have committed ourselves to organizing, cat-herding, and even throwing some cash at these shenanigans. What we need from you:

* We need you to take monitor training. I'll post more detail later unless our humble moderator beats me to it, but the great news is that YOU CAN TAKE IT ONLINE. No more having to take a day off work or hauling yourself to somewhere in the East Bay at an awkward time! We need a BUNCH of monitors - vehicle and pedestrian monitors.

* We need a theme. I would really like for us to have some cohesiveness this year in our contingent! I have an Emergency Backup Theme if you don't come up with something better. Since we have next to zero budget, theme's gotta be cheap. If you have suggestions, please sing out! Unless you come up with something better, it's "Save the 'B's" and lots of letter B on sticks and B-shaped balloons and everything, like a giant Sesame Street skit. You can do better than that, right?

* We need you to round up all your bi friends and allies, and tell them to come and march this year. Marching means under your own power - we do not have space for riders unless something changes.


What we do have:
* A vehicle which can hold your backpack and some water, but no passengers
* Spare signs and banners
* A MEGAPHONE (those of you who are good at crowd-pleasing can take turns, maybe we'll come up with some chants when the theme is solid)
* Some flags and banners
* Lots of heart! I want to nail the theme down soon, so get me those ideas as soon as you can. Hope to see you there!

In previous years SF Pride has done the training in-person. They will
not be doing that this year. Instead they are offering a simple,
two-step online training that will get more information to more people,
meaning a better parade for everyone, and saving all participants time
and money.

Yours in Pride!
Anne

STEP 1: Watch the 10-minute video at the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDIzSFWYW-U

This video contains pertinent information for ALL contingent members, so
please take the time to watch it, even if you are not able to commit to
being a monitor on the day of the parade.

STEP 2: Complete the survey at the link below:

https://survey.zohopublic.com/zs/MsituF

This survey gets your name and contingent information, and asks you a
few questions to verify that you did in fact watch the video.

Every contingent needs to register two wheel monitors for every axle on
all motorized vehicles in the contingent. In addition, we need to
register contingent monitors based on the formula below.

2 - 25 Marchers - 2 CM's registered
26 - 50 Marchers - 4 CM's registered
51 - 75 Marchers - 6 CM's registered
76 - 100 Marchers - 8 CM's registered
101 - 200 Marchers - 10 CM's registered
201 - 300 Marchers - 12 CM's registered
301 - 400 Marchers - 14 CM's registered
401 - 500 Marchers - 16 CM's registered
501 - 600 Marchers - 18 CM's registered

So a contingent with 75 marchers and a 4-wheeled vehicle would need to
register 6 Contingent Monitors, and 4 wheel monitors for a minimum of 10
registrants.

Once our contingent has registered at least this minimum number of
monitors, our training requirement for the SF Pride parade 2016 is
officially complete.

Note that I say _officially_ complete. UNofficially, I am not personally
going to be happy unless I know we have at least twice as many people
registered as we need for the size of our contingent. (I have very
serious reasons for being this stressed about it, which I'll share in
another email.)

The parade is in EIGHTEEN DAYS, folks! Let's get excited!

Yours in Pride,
Kirsten